'Stay Brave' with Tara Betts
‘Stay Brave’ is an interview series by woman-identifying creatives for woman-identifying creatives to inspire bravery in the creative life. [Created and curated by Leah Umansky]
How do you interpret the phrase, "Stay Brave?"
Actually, a poet said this to me once when I was going through a hard time in my life. I really didn’t know what I was going to do next and I was just making up my next step as I was going along. Then I realize that’s what a lot of us are doing we’re just improvising the dance and pretending nothing is wrong but being brave is really about being OK with being vulnerable and being in a space of flux and change because everything’s going to keep changing whether we want it to or not.
As a woman-identifying writer, what are the ways that you “stay brave” in your life?
Lately, this has been me being more direct about asking for what I need and want, and taking better care of myself. I’ve often thought it was about being resilient and relentless and pursuing what I aspire to and dreamed about with tenacity. Being a creative person at all in this culture often means that you have to develop a thick skin and you can’t give up when someone doesn’t like you or it doesn’t cosign you in a way that could help amplify your career and your work. Staying brave is not letting anyone deter you but also seeking the balance that you need to stay healthy, happy, and alive.
Who is someone in your life who models “staying brave” for you?
It still aches sometimes to know that I didn't realize how brave my mother was until after she died. She was a single white mom raising three Black children on a small salary at a very hard job, but we never went without. She would tenaciously defend me and my brothers. She taught me how to read and love reading. She taught me a heavy disdain for bullies, but she was also generous. If you were her friend, she was loyal and you never went hungry. We always had a friend who had no place to go or no food to eat, and we grew up thinking that was the norm. Now, as an adult, I see how she really taught me that you treat people the way you want to be treated, not because you'll get something out of it, but because it's the right thing to do. That is not always easy, or even fathomable, for far too many folks.
What writers, artists, and/or musicians do you look to to foster a sense of “bravery?”
Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Tina Turner, Grace Jones, Yayoi Kusama, Poly Styrene, bell hooks, Adrienne Rich, Grace Paley, Nikky Finney, Audre Lorde, DJ KuttinKhandi, Joan Jett, Janelle Monae to name only a few. I think if you are a woman who is creating and putting it out in the world you are brave because a lot of people will try to ignore, criticize, or exploit you. These women have established their own terms and aesthetics. That IS brave.
What’s a piece of advice you would pass on to your younger self about “staying brave?” What’s something you know now, that you didn’t know in the past?
Be gentle with yourself. Take good care of yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love dearly. Remember to take good care of your teeth, moisturize, and hydrate! Read everything that you want to read and don’t limit yourself.
Can you remember a time in your life where you realized your own bravery? How did you use it to propel you forward?
When I moved to Binghamton, NY to get my Ph.D. after my divorce. My ex did not want me to get the degree, and I had dreamed of doing it for a long time. It was isolating, challenging, and a bit of a culture shock, but I made new friends,. I traveled. I finished the book and the degree, and I moved back to Chicago. I’ve taught at many Chicago universities, and now I have a full-time position at DePaul. I think I stayed persistent because getting that degree showed me I could tough it out and get to where I wanted to be.
What do you do when you aren’t feeling brave? What inspires you or motivates you?
Often, I think I kind of do a pros and cons list in my head, and think about the worst case scenario. It’s usually likely that worst case scenario won’t happen, but sometimes the risk is not nearly as great as the potential possibilities.
In what ways would you like to be more brave in your creative life?
Honestly I think I need to push myself a bit more to be more physical. The pandemic really made me get into my head and I already have a life where I’m reading and sitting at a desk way too much. I also think doing some activity like yoga or dance could open up new possibilities for how I think and feel about my writing.
What is your proudest moment of bravery?
Learning to be OK with doing things alone. Women are not encouraged to like or appreciate this, and I love having friends, family, and a larger community, but I feel like that hasn’t materialized for me in the way that it does for some people. I’ve told myself that if someone wants to roll with me or not, I’m going to do my best to enjoy the ride.
What are you currently working on?
I’m working on some new manuscripts, writing grants for my nonprofit Whirlwind Learning Center, and writing prose. I’m keeping a lid on the subject matter for now.
Thank you to Tara Betts!
Tara Betts is the author of REFUSE TO DISAPPEAR, BREAK THE HABIT, and ARC & HUE. Tara also co-edited THE BEIGING OF AMERICA: BEING MIXED RACE IN THE 21ST CENTURY AND CARVING OUT RIGHTS FROM INSIDE THE PRISON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX. Tara served as inaugural Poet for the People Practitioner Fellow at University of Chicago and was recently appointed as a Professor of Practice and Artist in Residence in DePaul University’s Peace, Justice, and Conflict Studies program. She can be found at @tarabettschitown on Instagram & TikTok on FB at @TaraBettsWrites
Leah Umansky is the author of three books of poems, most recently the forthcoming OF TYRANT, (The Word Works in 2024.) She is currently working on a memoir DELICATE MACHINE, an exploration of womanhood, hope, and heart in the face of grief and a global pandemic. She earned her MFA in Poetry at Sarah Lawrence College and has curated and hosted The COUPLET Reading Series in NYC since 2011. Her creative work can be found in such places as The New York Times, POETRY, The Bennington Review, The Academy of American Poets' Poem-A-Day and others. She can be found at www.leahumansky.com or @leah.umansky on IG.